enneagram type three

in my experience, threes more often than not:

• are driven and highly successful
• are extremely well dressed and always put together. never a hair out of place
• figuratively wear a mask. you never know if you are talking to the real person or the facade
• are charming and self assured. nothing appears to rattle them
• aren’t in touch with their feelings
• don’t get to know people in depth and don’t know themselves either
• are highly competitive. losing is not an option
• live at the office and expect others to work as hard as they do. my former three boss would have margarita machines or wine/cheese parties at the office at 5:00 and then after she socialized for an hour or so she’d head right back to work

  

goodbye bookswim

well, i canceled my bookswim membership this morning. the turnaround time to get books and the monthly cost really didn’t make it worth it. its back to goodwill or the library for me. bookswim tried to stop me by letting me know that they are working on a new delivery method which would cut the wait time in half. hmm? and i bet they’ll charge for it too. nah…my book renting days are over.

i’m back on shore.

enneagram type two

in my experience, twos more often than not:

• will gladly help you but sometimes you feel like they don’t really want to
• put others needs before their own and are often very supportive of others
• are extremely needy themselves and want their extra efforts to be acknowledged
• are always thinking of ways to be loved/liked. i know a two at work who is always saying, “do i need any help?” so once i took her up on it and when she felt had her needs met she gave the stuff back to me and said, “here you can finish the rest.”
• are usually smiling and in an upbeat mood. i know a two who used to come to rehearsal every night and walk around offering people food in order to get others to notice her.

enneagram type one

in my experience, ones more often than not:

• are punctual. they just are. they know their schedule and are on top of it.
• make lists and are in good control of their finances. ones don’t bounce checks.
• can apologize easily but can’t compliment others easily.
• suppress their anger, except when they are alone. i’ve known a lot of ones that clench their teeth to stop themselves from reacting. a lot of ones express it when they are driving and other drivers don’t drive by the rules. that is infuriating to most ones.
• are judgmental and have a hard time not commenting on other people’s inadequacies. i know a one, who on her vacation, followed a woman to take a picture of the enormity of the woman’s rear end. typical ugly one behavior. however, ones are also sympathetic and are willing to give people credit where credit is due.
• have clear black and white, right and wrong thinking. i know a one who was obsessed with spike lee’s movie, “do the right thing” just because of the title alone.
• are dependable, hard workers, but hate to be told they made a mistake. mistakes mean you aren’t perfect and a one strives to be perfect.
• fun and engaging if you can get them to loosen up.
• activists. they love to support causes and volunteer.

that’s a small example of some major facets of a one. i’m a one, fortunately and unfortunately but i think i’ve mellowed as i’ve aged and some of the things that i thought were “right” no longer matter.

for more info on the one click here. tomorrow, type two.

the enneagram

i have been studying the enneagram personality system for 12 years. it has helped me understand myself and others. it is almost eerily accurate and when i catch myself behaving in the negative aspects of a type one, i am able to recognize it and try to resist the type’s urges.

most people are their type by age 3 or 4 and it’s best to take enneagram tests thinking as you were in your early 20’s, when the type is most cemented. there have been countless books written on the enneagram but one  i find most helpful for beginners is “everything enneagram book“.

i am beginning a new series here at absolutelyaleta which focuses on the nine types. but instead of describing each type in an abstract way, i thought i would illustrate the type through a story or experience that i’ve had with each. i don’t profess to be an expert and haven’t any license to train others but i have read cover to cover countless books and feel after 12 years that i know enough to comment on the system.

let’s begin.

superheros and “the king of kong”

i am documentary nut. i suppose that’s why i read so much non-fiction as well. last night i checked out “confessions of a superhero” which details the lives of four character posers on hollywood blvd. these people go out, presumably every day, and dress in superhero costumes to pose for pictures with tourists. they work solely on tips and on good days do pretty darn well.

this was a tough movie to watch and as an actor myself, not one i enjoyed. they all seemed to not mind what they were doing and viewed it as a vehicle which allowed them to make auditions when they could. but i found myself cringing because i could never, ever, do what they are doing. i don’t know many people who could. i would rather hold a sign and just ask for money rather than have to barter with tourists so that i could get paid for taking a picture with them. when i was in italy they have gladiators outside the colisseum that do the same thing. i wouldn’t take a picture with them. not because i didn’t want to pay but because i don’t get it. superheros don’t exist. gladiators are long gone. i’d rather stand in front of a building than pose with some badly outfitted lookalike.

this documentary didn’t have me rooting for these people like “the king of kong“. that documentary followed two men who were competing to be the best donkey kong player in america. one of the reasons the movie was so charming was that billy mitchell was such a unlikeable character and steve wiebe was endearing. you had the classic good vs. evil scenario and i laughed, cried, the whole nine yards. its worth renting if you like documentaries and especially if you remember the heyday of nintendo and atari.

Blogging with Sam

my very smart and very talented friend, Samantha, came up with an idea to start a book blog together. since AbsolutelyAleta’s blog could be more focused, and frankly interesting, she agreed to use my established and seasoned blog (even i laughed while typing that) to post our entries. i still will continue to post my musings in between book entries but be on the lookout for more book blogging by Sam and me.

speaking of Sam: she’s a librarian, she’s wicked smart and has a keen sense of humor. i played a small part in her meeting her devoted boyfriend which i milk every chance i get. i met Sam, at work, right after i had moved to Austin. we became fast friends and soon learned we both had a fondness for reading and an occasional gin and tonic.

the first book we will be writing about is “Disgrace” by J. M. Coetzee.  i didn’t know, until i was searching for a recent biography of him for this post, that Mr. Coetzee graduated with a PhD from the University of Texas at Austin in 1968. that means Coetzee was enrolled during the Charles Whitman rampage. i wonder if that tragedy influenced his writing? something tells me there’s no way it could not have.

la Malagueña from tucson

this was recorded in Tucson at La Fuente, a Mexican restaurant my parents have been taking me and my sisters to since we were children.

La Malagueña also happens to be my favorite Mexican tune and in honor of my ancestors’ independence day, enjoy.

defending the bard. finally.

one thing that really irks me  is this ongoing debate to question whether William Shakespeare truly wrote the plays, for which he has been credited, for over 400 years. i realize that when someone does something extraordinary that people naturally will investigate its validity. Mozart has been a target and even poor, in desperate need of a haircut, Einstein. Einstein dissenters play into the ludicrous “confirmation bias” category.

but enough already with poor Will.

and thankfully, one author has decided to write a book where he appears to look fairly at both believers and non-believers arguments. “Contested Will: Who Wrote Shakespeare?” by James Shapiro hit stores on April 6th of this year and a review can be found here.

i for one, plan to read it and report back. in truth, i did read the aforementioned review and probably wouldn’t read the book if i didn’t know that he comes to the defense of my beloved Bard.  in any case, this whole subject “wearies me” as Shakespeare would say and i would like to be able to intelligently debate the subject if i’m ever unlucky enough to meet some ding dong that thinks he didn’t write them.

en guard!

do cry over spilled oil

for the past two days i’ve walked by a rotting bag of Green Giant vegetables in the hallway of my apartment building. i would surmise it fell out of someone’s grocery bag; vegetables being not the type of snack some brute takes a stroll with and then litters the pavement once gorged.

yet there it is abandoned by my neighbor’s door. broccoli and carrots mating all over the concrete creating some kind of mutant broccot. i even saw my neighbors walk in their apartment chatting about some mundane domestic errand they had just run. they stepped over the broccot, ignoring it as though it was a transient shaking a cup. course, i’ve walked by it too and thought, “why isn’t anyone picking that up?” yeah, i’m proud of myself.

reading about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico (which scares and worries me terribly) i couldn’t help but think about that bag in the hall. i’m like everyone else, i don’t want to clean it up. i don’t want to pick up rotting vegetables after spending two hours cleaning my apt. apparently, neither do my neighbors and they actually have to step over them to get through their door. now obviously a bag of vegetables isn’t going to kill plants and animals and destroy cities and towns full of people who depend on the sea for their livelihood but yet it is still unsightly and barbaric to have rotting garbage outside your front door.

hopefully lessons learned from the Exxon disaster will aid in the facilitation of the spill in the gulf. i admire and thank the many people who will emerge as heroes in their efforts to save wildlife. i pray that it can be contained and cleaned up as quickly as humanly possible, although, i realize that could take years.

in the meantime, i have a date with a broom, some broccoli and a trash compactor. it’s about damn time.