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enneagram type three

in my experience, threes more often than not:

  • are driven and highly successful
  • are extremely well dressed and always put together. never a hair out of place
  • figuratively wear a mask. you never know if you are talking to the real person or the facade
  • are charming and self assured. nothing appears to rattle them
  • aren’t in touch with their feelings
  • don’t get to know people in depth and don’t know themselves either
  • are highly competitive. losing is not an option
  • live at the office and expect others to work as hard as they do. my former three boss would have margarita machines or wine/cheese parties at the office at 5:00 and then after she socialized for an hour or so she’d head right back to work


May 16, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | Leave a comment

enneagram type two

in my experience, twos more often than not:

  • will gladly help you but sometimes you feel like they don’t really want to
  • put others needs before their own and are often very supportive of others
  • are extremely needy themselves and want their extra efforts to be acknowledged
  • are always thinking of ways to be loved/liked. i know a two at work who is always saying, “do i need any help?” so once i took her up on it and when she felt had her needs met she gave the stuff back to me and said, “here you can finish the rest.”
  • are usually smiling and in an upbeat mood. i know a two who used to come to rehearsal every night and walk around offering people food in order to get others to notice her.

May 15, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | Leave a comment

enneagram type one

in my experience, ones more often than not:

  • are punctual. they just are. they know their schedule and are on top of it.
  • make lists and are in good control of their finances. ones don’t bounce checks.
  • can apologize easily but can’t compliment others easily.
  • suppress their anger, except when they are alone. i’ve known a lot of ones that clench their teeth to stop themselves from reacting. a lot of ones express it when they are driving and other drivers don’t drive by the rules. that is infuriating to most ones.
  • are judgmental and have a hard time not commenting on other people’s inadequacies. i know a one, who on her vacation, followed a woman to take a picture of the enormity of the woman’s rear end. typical ugly one behavior. however, ones are also sympathetic and are willing to give people credit where credit is due.
  • have clear black and white, right and wrong thinking. i know a one who was obsessed with spike lee’s movie, “do the right thing” just because of the title alone.
  • are dependable, hard workers, but hate to be told they made a mistake. mistakes mean you aren’t perfect and a one strives to be perfect.
  • fun and engaging if you can get them to loosen up.
  • activists. they love to support causes and volunteer.

that’s a small example of some major facets of a one. i’m a one, fortunately and unfortunately but i think i’ve mellowed as i’ve aged and some of the things that i thought were “right” no longer matter.

for more info on the one click here. tomorrow, type two.

May 11, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | Leave a comment

the enneagram

i have been studying the enneagram personality system for 12 years. it has helped me understand myself and others. it is almost eerily accurate and when i catch myself behaving in the negative aspects of a type one, i am able to recognize it and try to resist the type’s urges.

most people are their type by age 3 or 4 and it’s best to take enneagram tests thinking as you were in your early 20’s, when the type is most cemented. there have been countless books written on the enneagram but one  i find most helpful for beginners is “everything enneagram book“.

i am beginning a new series here at absolutelyaleta which focuses on the nine types. but instead of describing each type in an abstract way, i thought i would illustrate the type through a story or experience that i’ve had with each. i don’t profess to be an expert and haven’t any license to train others but i have read cover to cover countless books and feel after 12 years that i know enough to comment on the system.

let’s begin.

May 10, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | 1 Comment