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enneagram type three

in my experience, threes more often than not:

  • are driven and highly successful
  • are extremely well dressed and always put together. never a hair out of place
  • figuratively wear a mask. you never know if you are talking to the real person or the facade
  • are charming and self assured. nothing appears to rattle them
  • aren’t in touch with their feelings
  • don’t get to know people in depth and don’t know themselves either
  • are highly competitive. losing is not an option
  • live at the office and expect others to work as hard as they do. my former three boss would have margarita machines or wine/cheese parties at the office at 5:00 and then after she socialized for an hour or so she’d head right back to work


May 16, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | Leave a comment

goodbye bookswim

well, i canceled my bookswim membership this morning. the turnaround time to get books and the monthly cost really didn’t make it worth it. its back to goodwill or the library for me. bookswim tried to stop me by letting me know that they are working on a new delivery method which would cut the wait time in half. hmm? and i bet they’ll charge for it too. nah…my book renting days are over.

i’m back on shore.

May 16, 2010 Posted by | All, Bookswim | , | Leave a comment

enneagram type two

in my experience, twos more often than not:

  • will gladly help you but sometimes you feel like they don’t really want to
  • put others needs before their own and are often very supportive of others
  • are extremely needy themselves and want their extra efforts to be acknowledged
  • are always thinking of ways to be loved/liked. i know a two at work who is always saying, “do i need any help?” so once i took her up on it and when she felt had her needs met she gave the stuff back to me and said, “here you can finish the rest.”
  • are usually smiling and in an upbeat mood. i know a two who used to come to rehearsal every night and walk around offering people food in order to get others to notice her.

May 15, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | Leave a comment

enneagram type one

in my experience, ones more often than not:

  • are punctual. they just are. they know their schedule and are on top of it.
  • make lists and are in good control of their finances. ones don’t bounce checks.
  • can apologize easily but can’t compliment others easily.
  • suppress their anger, except when they are alone. i’ve known a lot of ones that clench their teeth to stop themselves from reacting. a lot of ones express it when they are driving and other drivers don’t drive by the rules. that is infuriating to most ones.
  • are judgmental and have a hard time not commenting on other people’s inadequacies. i know a one, who on her vacation, followed a woman to take a picture of the enormity of the woman’s rear end. typical ugly one behavior. however, ones are also sympathetic and are willing to give people credit where credit is due.
  • have clear black and white, right and wrong thinking. i know a one who was obsessed with spike lee’s movie, “do the right thing” just because of the title alone.
  • are dependable, hard workers, but hate to be told they made a mistake. mistakes mean you aren’t perfect and a one strives to be perfect.
  • fun and engaging if you can get them to loosen up.
  • activists. they love to support causes and volunteer.

that’s a small example of some major facets of a one. i’m a one, fortunately and unfortunately but i think i’ve mellowed as i’ve aged and some of the things that i thought were “right” no longer matter.

for more info on the one click here. tomorrow, type two.

May 11, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | Leave a comment

the enneagram

i have been studying the enneagram personality system for 12 years. it has helped me understand myself and others. it is almost eerily accurate and when i catch myself behaving in the negative aspects of a type one, i am able to recognize it and try to resist the type’s urges.

most people are their type by age 3 or 4 and it’s best to take enneagram tests thinking as you were in your early 20’s, when the type is most cemented. there have been countless books written on the enneagram but one  i find most helpful for beginners is “everything enneagram book“.

i am beginning a new series here at absolutelyaleta which focuses on the nine types. but instead of describing each type in an abstract way, i thought i would illustrate the type through a story or experience that i’ve had with each. i don’t profess to be an expert and haven’t any license to train others but i have read cover to cover countless books and feel after 12 years that i know enough to comment on the system.

let’s begin.

May 10, 2010 Posted by | All, Enneagram | , , , | 1 Comment

do cry over spilled oil

for the past two days i’ve walked by a rotting bag of Green Giant vegetables in the hallway of my apartment building. i would surmise it fell out of someone’s grocery bag; vegetables being not the type of snack some brute takes a stroll with and then litters the pavement once gorged.

yet there it is abandoned by my neighbor’s door. broccoli and carrots mating all over the concrete creating some kind of mutant broccot. i even saw my neighbors walk in their apartment chatting about some mundane domestic errand they had just run. they stepped over the broccot, ignoring it as though it was a transient shaking a cup. course, i’ve walked by it too and thought, “why isn’t anyone picking that up?” yeah, i’m proud of myself.

reading about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico (which scares and worries me terribly) i couldn’t help but think about that bag in the hall. i’m like everyone else, i don’t want to clean it up. i don’t want to pick up rotting vegetables after spending two hours cleaning my apt. apparently, neither do my neighbors and they actually have to step over them to get through their door. now obviously a bag of vegetables isn’t going to kill plants and animals and destroy cities and towns full of people who depend on the sea for their livelihood but yet it is still unsightly and barbaric to have rotting garbage outside your front door.

hopefully lessons learned from the Exxon disaster will aid in the facilitation of the spill in the gulf. i admire and thank the many people who will emerge as heroes in their efforts to save wildlife. i pray that it can be contained and cleaned up as quickly as humanly possible, although, i realize that could take years.

in the meantime, i have a date with a broom, some broccoli and a trash compactor. it’s about damn time.

May 2, 2010 Posted by | All, Food | , , | Leave a comment

sug’s dexterity dims

one of my dog sugar’s favorite things to do has always been to play fetch. for the last 15 years i’ve kept a steady supply of tennis balls on hand so that inside or out we could always tire her out a bit. now in her golden years ball chasing has become a bit of a challenge. she can’t jump at all like she used to. when she was 1 years old, she was dubbed “best jumper in her class” by the obediance instructor and even up until 1.5 years ago she was still a very agile jumper.

so this morning, we decide to play. well, sugar decided we were playing. so in order to make more room in this 720 sq. ft. apt. i pushed the coffee table flush with the couch. unfortunately, things got a little out of hand. see i forget, and so does sugar, that she’s old and has arthritis. so she was running around with the ball and then i started chasing her to pretend to try and get the ball back and she jumped on top of the coffee table trying to get away. she slipped and fell down and my heart broke. because in the old days she would’ve made that jump and got away. instead she was scared and confused as to why she fell.

i should know better than to play with her like that. she also has vestibular disease and gets disoriented easily anyway.

these last few years with her are going to be tough.


March 21, 2010 Posted by | All | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

splish splash

more fun from the office manager files. last week an employee came up to my desk and whispered, “can i talk to you about something?” now, when this guy whispers, i know it’s serious, since his booming voice can be heard from miles away.  so he laid it on me. thankfully not literally.

“there are these deodorant things in the urinals and when i pee, i end up getting splashed on. it gets on my clothes and even on the walls sometimes. it’s really bothersome to go back to my desk with wet clothes on, so can something be done about it?”

now aside from another round of toliet training for him, my only choice was to call building management to ask them to remove, what i’ve now learned are called, urinal deodorant cakes.


after my building representative finished laughing her head off, she told me she’d have the male custodians do some quality assurance testing of their current brand of deodorant cakes. apparently, splashing did ensue because she later called to tell me the cakes had been removed and they were investigating an alternative brand.

let’s hope this one comes with a splash guard and free copies of:


March 19, 2010 Posted by | All | , , , , , | 1 Comment

fuzzy capture

today we were able to catch a flying fuzzy thereby averting the need to stretch pantyhose over the air vent to catch them. that was one of the suggestions i received for catching the little buggers. i balked because i could just see the whole place going up in my smoke over my No Nonsense Silky Sheers. I can see the headline now:

office manager’s pantyhose sound 3 alarms but not because of her legs

tomorrow they are going into the duct work to try and find the newly christened “dustballs.” makes me wonder if some little troll lives up there and has been amusing himself by raining fuzzies on the artists’ heads. if that’s the case, his gig is up.

the Fuzzbusters have arrived and these badasses don’t wear pantyhose.

March 18, 2010 Posted by | All | , | 1 Comment

Catcher Art

Salon ran a slide show of the succession of book jackets that have covered the brilliance that is “Catcher in the Rye.” i love the abstractness of the Italian edition but my all time favorite jacket is the one i own (photo shown below).

i can’t help but think that Mr. Salinger would approve of my dog-eared copy. In fact, he probably would have thought, “yeah, that’s about right.”

February 4, 2010 Posted by | All | , , , , | 2 Comments