absolutelyaleta's blog

blogging for dummies

soap dreams

another writing resurrection from the early 2000’s, similar to my Keno brothers piece.

When I have a nightmare, I don’t pop out of bed, panting and horrified like they do in the movies. I just don’t, do you? Here we are in the year 2002 and they haven’t yet figured out a different way to dramatize a person having a nightmare. When I have a nightmare, I usually just wake up and move around in my bed, maybe yawn a few times. And then I force myself to remember it, otherwise, I’ll fall right back into it again. Sometimes, when I’m crying in the nightmare I wake up with tears on my cheeks. But, I have never, ever, instantaneously sat up in bed, gasping for what’s sure to be my last breath.

Although sometimes I wish I lived on TV. Well, not just any TV show, a soap opera. You never have to work and when you do go to work, all you have to do is wait for other characters to come and talk over your personal life, or their personal life, or any personal life of the 30 people who happen to live in the little soap opera town. There are no such things as bad hair days, laundry, dishes, or even waiting in line. Course there is a lot of illness. But I’ve always liked visiting hospitals and cemeteries.

Wouldn’t it be great if I had writers who were writing my storyline? Keeping it interesting, giving me a new handsome boyfriend every 6 mos. to a year. Making sure that I had just enough drama and romance but giving me a few slow periods so that I could also take a vacation. And I’m okay with the outrageous. I wouldn’t mind being kidnapped by my estranged, lunatic half-brother, who holds me captive on a desert island, until Chance, my latest billionaire boyfriend, comes to my rescue. That would be OK. I could handle that. I could handle not having to spend another minute in the “Dating Scene.” So, if there are any soap writers out there looking for a chance to merge soaps and reality, give me a call.

One thing though about the nightmare scenes, don’t make me pop out of bed panting. Okay? Keep it real. Don’t worry I’ll have no trouble convincing people that I’ve had a nightmare. All I have to do is wake-up, and say “Oh, my God, I just dreamed I was single!!!”


footnote: here’s a great Saturday Night Live depiction of that nightmare gasping i’m talking about.

SNL Digital Short: The Mirror.


March 14, 2010 - Posted by | Earlier Pieces I've Written | , , , , ,

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