absolutelyaleta's blog

blogging for dummies

how one notices one needs to relax

this latest hip illness to hit the streets (bird flu is so ’08) is encouraging me to take inventory of what medical provisions i lack, but oddly i’m taking this latest pandemic a little further. i’m doing more than checking my aspirin expiration dates and buying a thermometer (more on that below).  i’m actually having the virus in my mind. i’m sick right now, even though i feel fine.

you see i’m anticipating how sick I will be, how long i will be sick, how much i’ll sleep, how much i won’t sleep, how much tv i’ll watch, how much i’ll kick myself for not having cable, how long i’ll be home from work and how much they’ll miss me at work. i’m frantically looking for someone, in my mind, who will walk the dog four times a day and then at not finding anyone, i’ll venture out, looking frightful and saying pitifully,  ‘sorry, sug. mommy’s sick. we can’t go far.’ lastly, i’m making sure i have plenty of clean towels for the wet compresses that will be adorning my forehead even though i haven’t even opened up my linen closet.

i’m ensuring my phone is charged at all times for the loads of calls i’ll receive from worried friends and relatives who just can’t believe that i’m the first in the family to be stricken. “you’ll do anything to be first”, they’ll joke and i’ll emit a slight ‘heh’ and then promptly errupt into a coughing fit at which they’ll be saddled with guilt for causing. but i’ll reply, ‘no, i’ll be okay. i’m sure i will. i just need some more rest.’

maybe this is some sort of reverse psychology. if i’m too busy being sick in the head maybe i won’t get it. maybe swine flu comes to those who walk around without a care in the world. they’re thinking if they were going to get it, they would’ve by now, right? no. have it in your head first and then when it does come it will never live up to your expectations. you’ll think swine flu is a breeze. other people are just sissies.

but best of all, those towels will stay neatly folded and tucked away.

———————-

a thermometer. i don’t have one. loads of other people do though. why? i mean is that a standard household object? like a funnel or a hammer. i have both of those things. hmm?

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October 8, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

3 Comments »

  1. This made me laugh…you are so funny and to answer your question – what is up with everyone??? I have a co-worker who didn’t own a thermometer too…so I bought her one and clearly I need to get one for you, too! YES…like a hammer! hahahhahh

    P.S. stock up on Gatorade & saltines.

    P.P.S. – I’ll walk Sug

    Comment by Rebecca Robinson | October 8, 2009 | Reply

  2. Look on the bright side a few days off from work to laze around and read. I always looked forward to flu season on the hope that I would get it. Unfortunately too healthy but, yes, I do have a thermometer. Doesn’t get much use.

    Jerry

    Comment by Jerry | October 10, 2009 | Reply

  3. I also don’t own a thermometer. Hmmm….

    Comment by Beth | October 12, 2009 | Reply


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